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HUMOR | OPINION...

We hope that this space will give you a moment of relief from the hectic pace and the demands on you.

And, this page gives us a chance to offer our opinions on things that matter to us. We hope the topics interest you.

The Staff at Gray Signs+Graphics

The difference between a cat and a dog: Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks it's your god.

SIGNS: On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Try out your skills at TIC TAC TOE -- just click on a box!
Love everyone.
SIGNS: Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"
In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."
In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got."
On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."
SIGNS: Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait.
A shop owner put this sign in his window: "Lovely glass paper-weights. The best way to keep your household bills down."
Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."
In a repair shop: "We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1."
In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"
On a bumper sticker: Keep honking, I'm reloading.
In a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."
In a Maine restaurant: "Open 7 days a week and weekends."
At the dry cleaners: "We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."

SIGNS: In the vestry of a New England church: "Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished."
In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."
On a roller coaster: "Watch your head."
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a classified ad: "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."
In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. - Sisters of Mercy"

SIGNS: Pinned to an Army barracks door: "Shut the door, stupid! Not you, sir."
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."
Bumper sticker seen on an Austin Mini: "The parts falling from this car are of the finest British workmanship."
In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."
On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."
 
 
 

 
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Website produced and maintained by Gray Signs+Graphics. Revised: April 17, 2006
Copyright © 2006 All rights reserved. Gray Signs+Graphics | Gene Gray | Palmdale, CA